+ SHORT AND SWEET

Today you are giving yourselves to one another to love and to live. Your lives are being woven together, and in time, they will intertwine in such a way that you truly will become one in heart, mind, and soul. Listen to these words that reflect this kind of love between a man and a woman.

When a Man and a Woman Are in Love

When a man and a woman are in love, His life lies within hers and her life lies within his. Each lives as an individual, yet they also live for one another. Each strives for independent goals, but they also work together to achieve their dreams. When a man and a woman are in love, they will give to one another what they need to survive and help fulfill each other’s wants. They will turn one another’s disappointment into satisfaction. They will turn one another’s frustration into contentment. They will work as a mirror, reflecting to each other their strengths and weaknesses. They will work together to alleviate the emotional walls that may separate them.When a man and a woman are in love, His life lies within hers and her life lies within his. Each lives as an individual, yet they also live for one another. Each strives for independent goals, but they also work together to achieve their dreams.

When a man and a woman are in love, they will give to one another what they need to survive and help fulfill each other’s wants. They will turn one another’s disappointment into satisfaction. They will turn one another’s frustration into contentment. They will work as a mirror, reflecting to each other their strengths and weaknesses. They will work together to alleviate the emotional walls that may separate them.

They will work together to build a better understanding of one another. They will learn to lean on each other, but not so much as to be a burden on the other. They will learn to reach out to one another, but not so much as to suffocate the other. They will learn when it is time to speak and when it is time to listen. They will be there to comfort each other in times of sorrow. They will be there to celebrate together in times of happiness. They will be one another’s friend, guiding each other to the happiness that life holds. They will be one another’s companion, facing together the challenges that life may present.

When a man and a woman are in love, his life lies within hers and her life lies within his. Together they will love one another for the rest of their lives and forever.

(Groom) ** and (Bride) **, may this kind of love always help you keep the promises you are about to make here today.

+ THE KEY'S TO LOVE WITH I DO'S

The key to love is understanding... The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word, but those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves. The key to love is forgiveness... to accept each other’s faults and pardon mistakes, without forgetting, but with remembering what you learn from them.The key to love is sharing... Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together; both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness. The key to love is giving... without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile, and by giving in but never giving up. The key to love is respect... realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas; that you don't belong to each other, that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond. The key to love is inside us all... It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients that will take you to its threshold; it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work... but the rewards are more than worth the effort... So I ask you both,… Do you fully realize what you are about to do as you commit yourselves to one another?

If you do, please answer “I do.”

(Bride & Groom answer “I do”)

+ 1 CORINTHIANS 13

(Groom) ** and (Bride) **, in just a moment you will publicly express your love, & pledge yourselves to each other for the rest of your lives in the sacred covenant of marriage.

There have been acts of thoughtfulness & words of encouragement. You have gained a respect for each other’s qualities, strength of resolve, trustworthiness, & kindness.

I feel confident that during this time you have grown & matured in your relationship with each other. And if you remain faithful to the vows you are about to make, your life together will be a blessing both to you & to those around you.

There have been many books written about marriage over the years. Books giving advice, rules & suggestions. But the best book ever written on marriage is the Bible. There is a very beautiful passage of Scripture that I believe provides great advice for those who are entering a marriage covenant. Indeed, it contains sound advice for all of us to follow in our daily walk of life.

It is found in 1 Corinthians 13, in what is often called “The Love Chapter of the Bible.” But as beautiful as it is, it is not about romantic love. The love of which Paul speaks is of a behavior we exercise even when we do not feel loving or lovable.

Listen to Paul’s words. In verse 4 he says: “Love is patient, love is kind.”
(Groom) ** and (Bride) **, sometimes you will be stressed out. Sometimes you will be frustrated.

But it says, “Love is patient & kind.” Sometimes you guys might want to give harsh criticism when your spouse does something foolish or hurtful.

Again... “Love is patient & kind.”

Secondly, Paul tells us that “Love is not jealous or boastful.” Sometimes we try to make ourselves look better than we really are. We may even criticize our spouse to make us feel better about ourselves. Our competitive spirit may get the best of us, & we try to prove that we are better, smarter, more professional, more talented than our spouse.

Such selfish behavior in a marriage will prove to be unproductive, even destructive. Be proud of each other, build each other up, learn to praise the unique gifts of your spouse.

Paul’s next advice is to avoid arrogance & rudeness. Paul knows that sometimes we treat those we love with less courtesy even than a stranger. We may take our spouses for granted. Occasionally we may be rude to them in private. Even worse, we may be rude to them in public.

Paul would urge that we strive to treat our spouse with reverence & respect just like we would want him or her to treat us.

Of all the ideals that Paul holds up before us, this next one may be the hardest. “Love does not insist upon its own way.” Now, & , I’m going to assume there have been times in your relationship with each other, that one or both of you have insisted on having your own way.

Such behavior is present in most relationships. But it is not helpful. Marriage is intended to be a journey filled with compromises.

If both of you are willing to compromise; if both of you are willing to respond to the wants & needs of the other, & not just your own, then your marriage will be much more peaceful & productive. “Me” & “My” need to be replaced with “Us” & “Ours.”

Paul’s next description of love is difficult to follow. He tells us that “love is not irritable or resentful.” I wonder if there is anyone here who has never been irritable or resentful?

In fact, most of us fail to live out this quality of love. Rather than being pleasant, we are sometimes easily irritated or angered. Rather than politely answering a simple question of a spouse, we may respond with a loud or hostile voice. Too often we become argumentative & defensive.

I believe that Paul would urge of all of us, that when we fail to live up to this ideal, we avoid making excuses for our behavior & simply admit we are wrong. Say to each other, “Sorry, I’ve been in a bad mood today. Let’s start over.”

Paul’s model of Christian love may even suggest a strange double standard. When our spouse is irritable, we are to be patient. When we are irritable, we are to ask for forgiveness. If both of you live by this advice there will be peace in your home.

Paul goes on to say that “love does not rejoice in wrong but rejoices in right.” & , this means that you should have strong principles & a sense of justice. You should care about the welfare of those around you who are vurnable. You should celebrate when life is victorious, when love wins out over hate, & when forgiveness wins over resentment.

Paul sums up his beautiful description of love with these words, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” In other words, love never gives up. It hangs in. It holds on. You can count on it. This is the type of love you are to have for one another - love that can be trusted.

My prayer for the two of you is that you will continue to grow in love - love for one another, love for God, & love for your neighbor. If you do this, you will not only have a blessed marriage, you will have a blessed life.

+ HAPPINESS IN A GOOD MARRIAGE

“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

+ TRADITIONAL READINGS

Today is the beginning of a new life together for you. It marks the commencement of new relationships to your families, your friends, and certainly to each other. You have invited these special guests to share in one of life’s greatest moments as they give recognition to the worth and beauty of your love and add their best wishes to the words that shall unite you today as husband and wife. God knew your needs when He brought you together. He knew exactly what you needed to make you complete. And now, He wants you to commit yourselves to each other as the one He has chosen to complete you.

God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And so…

The Creation of Woman from the Rib of Man

The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs, and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God formed a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and brought her to him. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, for she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

Woman was made of a rib out of the side of Man. She was not created from Man’s head to rule over him, nor from his feet to be trampled upon by him. Instead, Woman was taken from his side, to be equal with him; under his arm, to be protected; and near his heart, to be loved.

(Groom) **__, God’s Word tells us what kind of husband a man should be for his wife.

“And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when He died for her. That is how husband should be toward their wives, loving them in the same kind of way. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it just as Christ cares for His body, the church, of which we are all parts. Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, giving them respect, and treating them with honor since they are heirs together with you in the grace of life.”

(Bride) **__, the qualities that make a woman truly beautiful have been written in the book of Proverbs.

“If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him, but help him all her life. She is a woman of strength and dignity, and has no fear of old age. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule of everything she says. She watches carefully all that goes on throughout her household, and is never lazy. Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words: ‘There are many fine women in the world, but your are the best of them all!’ Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn’t last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised.”

Through the ages, man has tried to define “love.” Poems, songs, and books all have been written trying to describe this little four letter word. But the best description I have found comes from God Himself, since He is the Author of love. In His Word, there is a chapter commonly known as the “Love Chapter”----1 Corinthians 13. It describes the kind of love that must characterize your lives if you are to live in joy and harmony and honor with each other, and also before God and your fellow man. Listen to what it says:

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. So faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

(Groom) **, I believe you are saying to all of us today that you are committing yourself to this woman only, moving toward her in a more open and intimate way, giving yourself to care for her, and promising to love her as she needs to be loved. And (Bride) **, I believe you are saying to us that you are committing yourself to this man only, moving toward him with increasing openness, tenderness, and respect, giving yourself to him, and trusting him as the head of your home, and through him, listening to God’s plan for your life together.

And so, (Groom) **, if you will love (Bride) ** as Christ loves the church, and Bride **, if you will respond to (Groom) ** as unto the Lord, your companionship as husband and wife will blossom into a physical, emotional, and spiritual closeness beyond which nothing can compare.

+ CONTEMPORARY READINGS

(Groom) **& Bride **, your marriage will require more than just love for one another. It will take conviction to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It will take dedication to listen to one another, to learn and grow together, and it will take faith to go forward hand in hand without knowing what the future holds for you both. Marriage is not a destination...it is a life-long journey that starts here today. Are you both ready?

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way.

All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks—all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will"—those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe"—and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed—well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another—acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this—is my husband, this—is my wife.